she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
