think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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