4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
