if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
how drunk are you?
Several
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
