just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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