just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
