So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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