i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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