I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize