Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
