I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
