was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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