I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
