brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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