You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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