How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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