Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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