I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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