Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i already hear my dad disowning me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
