Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
