Sponge bath it is.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
