wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
