He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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