And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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