Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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