I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
