i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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