If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
