when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
