you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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