I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize