he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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