i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
