I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I want a musical about memes.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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