So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
