Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
