I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
