there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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