In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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