You're a womanizer and a bitch.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
