Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
