If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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