ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
