no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
