he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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