nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Found the puke drawer
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
