Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
