The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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