Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
