Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
