What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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