he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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