I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
