Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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