He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
