When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
