Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
