just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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