Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
