You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
