We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
