and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
