Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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