wrigley field is MILF paradise
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
