I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
