i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
