By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize