I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
