he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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