you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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